German Kink
”So, I hear ‘The Germans’ are kinky….” I heard this statement in one form or another many times prior to my move here. OK, at least two. I am sorry to report, that I have discovered no such kink. Then again, I am probably going to the wrong Biergartens, mountains, produce markets, churches, what have you….
Perhaps there was a SMIDGEON of kink at the gay day festivities I attended earlier this month, but by San Francisco standards, the kinkcount (now that I live in Germany I can take any two or more words and combine them to make one word, really) was relatively low.
In fact, since I’ve been here in Germany (I won’t specify how long as I’ve vowed to stop counting after a month), the kinkiest behavior I have witnessed comes from someone so small, so hairy, so orange, and so snaggletoothed, I shudder to mention his name lest he hump my ankle. O.K. It’s JoJo (I’ll take my chances).
It has been common practice for JoJo to hump The Fish when his living situation changes (i.e. when we adopted him, and when we move). If you are not familiar with the mating behavior of cats, there are plenty of Web sites (they aren’t pretty people) and Discovery Channel shows to quench your thirst for knowledge. That aside, it is worth mentioning that both JoJo and Fish are fixed, so I only assume this is a way for the MAN to assert his dominance over the WOMAN.
It starts by JoJo making very strange meowing sounds. They are a bit guttural for JoJo, really. Then (I hope this isn’t getting too graphic), he approaches her. Usually because of the strange meows, Fish knows what is coming, and either runs, or swats him. If “I” were JoJo, I’d keep my mouth shut, as to improve the ol’ chances for getting lucky, but that’s just me…. Anyway, in the event that The Fish doesn’t split, JoJo bites the back of her neck, and goes in to finish the job. The funny thing is, he doesn’t quite get it. With a firm grip on her neck, he stands on either her right or left, and starts airhumping (another new compound word). Fish fights him off, runs, and the whole process repeats a few times. Supposedly, in the wild, lions can mate somewhere between 40 and 100 times a day. I get conflicting reports, but this is not important. I’d say JoJo’s good for five or six. No, I’m not bragging.
But enough about JoJo….
In the last two weeks (or so), I saw Heather and Abby off. On their last day here, we went to Schloss Neuschwanstein. We rented bikes and rode around the nearby lake, the Alpsee. It was swell, and I have pictures to prove it. Aren’t castles neat?
Last weekend, Todd and I went on a nice excursion to Kloster Andechs. Supposedly monks have been brewing beer in this location since the Middle Ages and selling it to tourists for not nearly that long. We took a train about one hour out of Munich, then hiked about an hour up a hill to the monastery, where we hung out in the Biergarten with some beer and MONSTER pretzels. We walked around the grounds a bit and climbed up the tower for an amazing view of the lush farmlands below. Also neat, but you’ll just have to take my word for it, as I forgot my camera.
I guess I will sign off now. Hope all are well…
Tchuß!
Perhaps there was a SMIDGEON of kink at the gay day festivities I attended earlier this month, but by San Francisco standards, the kinkcount (now that I live in Germany I can take any two or more words and combine them to make one word, really) was relatively low.
In fact, since I’ve been here in Germany (I won’t specify how long as I’ve vowed to stop counting after a month), the kinkiest behavior I have witnessed comes from someone so small, so hairy, so orange, and so snaggletoothed, I shudder to mention his name lest he hump my ankle. O.K. It’s JoJo (I’ll take my chances).
It has been common practice for JoJo to hump The Fish when his living situation changes (i.e. when we adopted him, and when we move). If you are not familiar with the mating behavior of cats, there are plenty of Web sites (they aren’t pretty people) and Discovery Channel shows to quench your thirst for knowledge. That aside, it is worth mentioning that both JoJo and Fish are fixed, so I only assume this is a way for the MAN to assert his dominance over the WOMAN.
It starts by JoJo making very strange meowing sounds. They are a bit guttural for JoJo, really. Then (I hope this isn’t getting too graphic), he approaches her. Usually because of the strange meows, Fish knows what is coming, and either runs, or swats him. If “I” were JoJo, I’d keep my mouth shut, as to improve the ol’ chances for getting lucky, but that’s just me…. Anyway, in the event that The Fish doesn’t split, JoJo bites the back of her neck, and goes in to finish the job. The funny thing is, he doesn’t quite get it. With a firm grip on her neck, he stands on either her right or left, and starts airhumping (another new compound word). Fish fights him off, runs, and the whole process repeats a few times. Supposedly, in the wild, lions can mate somewhere between 40 and 100 times a day. I get conflicting reports, but this is not important. I’d say JoJo’s good for five or six. No, I’m not bragging.
But enough about JoJo….
In the last two weeks (or so), I saw Heather and Abby off. On their last day here, we went to Schloss Neuschwanstein. We rented bikes and rode around the nearby lake, the Alpsee. It was swell, and I have pictures to prove it. Aren’t castles neat?
Last weekend, Todd and I went on a nice excursion to Kloster Andechs. Supposedly monks have been brewing beer in this location since the Middle Ages and selling it to tourists for not nearly that long. We took a train about one hour out of Munich, then hiked about an hour up a hill to the monastery, where we hung out in the Biergarten with some beer and MONSTER pretzels. We walked around the grounds a bit and climbed up the tower for an amazing view of the lush farmlands below. Also neat, but you’ll just have to take my word for it, as I forgot my camera.
I guess I will sign off now. Hope all are well…
Tchuß!
posted by mel at 3:46 PM
1 comments
